2:38 AM | Monday, April 7, 2008
this blog is for you guys to read, not to play with it.
yesterday was my 19birthday. but i not really happy with my this year birthday. went out with a small group of bros. end up eating burger king at bugis after that went green. stay at green for awhile, decided to go home. Guo Xiang, a very kind person, always send me home. haha. we nt gay but very good bros. when we reach my hse downstair, we decided to chat before he going off.
we spending whole night talking about people around us, their attitude, their char, and we talked about our past. he talked about jasmine, i talked about jieying. he said is not hard to forget someone you loved as long as you really made up your mind.
i told him is damn hard for me to forget jieying. he asked me why. i said she not a bad girlfriend. i listed few things that what she said or done make me crying for her again and again. i used to send her home everynight. that night is around 10plus. i send her home. on the way home, we had jokes, we had fun. finally we reach sengkang. we walking on the empty street. no one there but only us. i keep smiling at her cause she is the reason why i smile everyday. she suddenly hug me very tight. she said she very happy. i asked her why. she said she want me to send her home everyday and night. she said she feel very safe and happy when i send her home. that day onwards, i told myself no matter how tired i am, where she is, i'll go look for her and send her home. i remember this very clearly because she was so sweet to me. i cried when i said this to guoxiang. i cried like a big baby.
i know i not born in a very rich family. during school holiday, she came to my house early in the morning. my mum and dad went to work. my bro went out. i alone at home. she came to my house to accompany me. i was happy. very happy. but i found out that my wallet only left $10. and this $10 is for my lunch and dinner. i told her that i was broke. she smile at me. i told myself i was such a lousy boyfriend. i cant even give my girlfriend a good meal. i went to bath. when i done with it, i cant find her. but her belonging still at my room. she never bring her phone along. so i decided to go look for her. when i open the door, she was standing outside of my house, with a packet of instant noodle. i hug her. she said no money, we can have instant noodle for our lunch. she cooked the noodle for me. i told her that i am such a lousy boyfriend. she hug me and said, we can have instant noodle everyday, as long as i am there to cook the noodle with her, as long as she can stay with me, she aready very happy. i cried even more when i said this to guoxiang.
guoxiang change his view of jieying. if i dont post this on my blog, i think no one know that she such a good girlfriend. but now, she having her own life. i miss her. i really do miss her alot. i asked guoxiang how to forget her. he said he understand why it's hard for me to forget her. because she is that type of girl that every guys is looking for. even now, i crying again. i though i can, i aready get you out of my heart. but i know i just lying to myself.
even i can get you out of my mind, it's hard to get you out of my heart.
time will heal, but it still hurt when i think of you.
jieying, i did not ask for much. i just hope that you can be there for me when i need you. will you?
